she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
wow bdsm is so cute
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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