OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
