Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
