Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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