I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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