Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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