Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
