I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Randomize
