i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I got inside last night via doggy door
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
