True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
