just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize