worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
