I accidentally had phone sex last night
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
