friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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