Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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