So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
