i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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