Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
