It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
