Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
