His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize