STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
