Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
