Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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