I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize