im drinking this country out of the recession.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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