She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize