if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
