Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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