last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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