So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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