i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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