It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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