Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
