he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize