last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
