i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
