Whod you bang
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Drunk is not a location!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
