There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
