The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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