That's when you crack a 10am beer
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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