Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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