you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
