Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize