That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
you are never too drunk for berry picking
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize