I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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