if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize