I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
