I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
