that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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