SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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