All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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