covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
