I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
