Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
