You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I think I am morally bankrupt
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She announced her abortion via fbk
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
