OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
