I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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