Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
