I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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